I want to be happy for no reason this year except that I am here and alive and I claim this moment as my own. It’s mine. Its got my name on it!
This year, I want to spend more time in nature, not on the path near my home, with its iPods, and cell phones and incessant chatter, but deep in a forest, where the earth recognizes my step, and the ground kisses my feet as I walk.
This year, I want to say no, more often, and not feel guilty, and say yes, more often, and not feel embarrassed.
I want to take the time to grieve fully this year, for those people that I have lost and mourn those things that I shall never have or be again.
I want to hear the sounds of creation and I can’t tell you what those sounds are, because I have never really heard them before. I ‘ve been too busy for that.
But their music beckons to me in the stillness when I have finally given up my need to control.
I want to see, really see the sights of the universe and I can’t tell you what those sights are, because I have never really seen them before. I’ve had my eyes closed. But their vision haunts me in my dreams and gently calls forth to me in my waking hours.
I want to take the child in me out to play more this year and step in mud puddles, get my feet wet, eat cotton candy, build a snowman, talk to strangers, kiss furry dogs and chase mangy cats.
This year I want to eat my spaghetti with a fork and forget about the spoon and get my face really dirty.
I want to get to know my teddy bear more this year. After all, he is really the only one who has always been there for me, in my darkest hour, comforting me and whispering sweet messages into my heart, that were more accurate than any psychic ever could be.
I want to see the world with new eyes this year, as if I have never seen it before, like an alien on an unfamiliar planet, and not take anything for granted.
This year, I want to talk less and say more. I want to taste more and eat less.
I want to write more about those things that really matter to me, with passion, the things that I know in my gut, the things that stir up my soul, and not give a damn about keywords or tags or where I rank in Google.
I want to sit with a flower this year and watch it bloom, and know what it feels like to finally surrender to life, to succumb to a purpose bigger than my own.
I want to talk to the moon and bask in the sun and gaze at the stars for hours and hours.
I want to be much more silly this year, and care much less about what people think of me. I have forgotten just how much fun being silly can be.
I want to laugh, harder than I have ever laughed before. And cry less for all of the pain and suffering that I think I can’t fix, because I know that I can.
Every time that I make the choice to be free, there is less suffering in the world, not a world with less pain, but less pain in the world.
I want to love more this year, not the sappy, greeting card kind of love they sell on Valentine’s day cards, but a love that surpasses all distance, time, space and differences.
This year, I want to make friends with those parts of me that I am afraid of and attempt to do those things that still scare me to death. Well, at least some of them.
I want to appreciate more and complain less, accept more and judge less, forgive more and blame less. I want to ultimately do nothing and allow everything.
This year I want to break open the windows of my life and knock down the doors remove the shackles and stare down the illusion until it sets me free.
So you won’t find goals here or projects or timelines or objectives or plans or directions or bucket lists or targets.
You’ll only find me.
Copyright © by Veronica Hay – All Rights Reserved (email: veronicahay@telus.net)
